The Chironic Search for The Good Mother

There is an unnamed longing that lives in those with a deep mother wound. An ache for the Good Mother so old and so cellular it does not need to announce itself.

It shows up in relationships with friends, sisters, mentors, healers, and teachers — in how much gets given, how much gets shared, how available and present and useful one becomes — hoping to finally be seen, be known, be held, be supported in the way the mother could not.

This is the Chironic search for the Good Mother in other women.

So many relationships become unconsciously transactional because the original relational template was one of hunger — for care, for knowing, for witnessing, for mirroring. When the holding wasn't there, when the nourishment wasn't there, the child learned to earn love rather than receive it. And that pattern moves forward into every relationship. The overgiving, the overfunctioning, the overtending. The Good Mother is being sought in people and places that are not healed. In maiden mothers and absent mother replacements and death mothers. In those who cannot offer true relationality.

There is a soul deep ache for that relational experience. To experience wholeness through another's eyes. To be reflected back as enough. To be delighted in. Instead, there is a taking happening. An extraction. A siphoning. A depletion. The relational experience is not there. The mirroring does not come. The reciprocity is absent. Because the wound runs so deep. The hunger is so profound. So much gets offered. So much gets poured out.

And when the relationship remains transactional, when the mirroring doesn't come, when the holding isn't there, it is like gallons of salt being poured into a soul-deep wound. It is the original ache, opening again, burning again, hurting again, being injured again. And because the longing for Mother is so profound and so deeply ancestral, this cycle continues — the searching, the giving, the not being met.

Those with Chiron in Cancer, Chiron and Moon aspects, 4th house moons, 12th house moons, 4th house Chirons, 12th house Chirons, and those who feel a deep resonance with the ancestral mother wound are the carriers of this wound. And the carriers of this medicine.

This is the ancestral wound being asked to be alchemized. And we can start to do this by coming into relationship with the grandmothers and tending to the ancestral ache. So we can start to have more access to the Good Mother and our ancestral gifts and our ancestral medicine. So that the grandmothers can start to become our biggest allies and supporters. When the grandmothers are fed and called forward, something shifts. The Good Mother becomes more available. The wound that has passed through so many bodies, so many generations of women who could not hold each other, begins to metabolize.

If this stirred something in you, and you want to learn more about working with me in a psychotherapy or spiritual consultation session, you can learn more about motherhood and matrescence therapy or spiritual consultation. You can also learn more about ancestral healing or Dagara divination.

Not sure where to start? Book a consultation.